Is Sex Addiction Real?

Whether or not sex addiction is a made up disorder is something I’ve had to confront many times.  When my therapist first mentioned it to me, I did some quick research and I was skeptical myself.  Well, nearly a year later and I believe there’s something to it.

Now, there are interesting articles to be read that attempt to surface the different sides of the controversy.  MSNBC online has an interesting discussion – one of the first I found on the subject.  The basic outline of the controversy is that some view the use of addiction beyond physical dependency (chemical dependency resulting in withdrawel symptoms when stoped) stretches the concept too far.  There is a recognition, however, that there is a psychological component to addiction such that combatting the chemical dependancy alone is typcially inadequate to successfully maintain drug or alcohol sobriety.

Another branch of the debate essentially asserts that addiction isn’t the correct appelation and that the problematic sexual behaviors described are really manifestations of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).  When most people think of OCD, they think of a character like USA’s “defective detective” in the television series Monk.  Monk has a pathologically strong obsession with cleanliness and order.  Or others might think of those who excessively wash their hands or lock doors, etc.  The argument that sex addiction is a form of OCD is an important distinction (e.g, not purely “academic”).  OCD is an anxiety disorder manifesting in recurrent, persistent, intrusive thoughts and related conpulsions (rituals).  In this light, sex is a compulsion (behavior a person feels driven to in order to reduce distress).  Treatment for OCD – Behavior therapy and medication used more in OCD treatment - may then be more effectively applied to sexual “compulsion.”

The last group thinks sex addiction is just more psychobabble.  That the label of addiction tries to create a disease when none really exists.  Those who suffer then are simply weak willed, promiscuous (low morals) or bad decison makers (stupid).  (I might overstate just a bit in parantheses).  The worry is that a diagnosis of addiction might provide an excuse for bad decision making or simple bad behavior. Well, that’s true for anything.  I can use alcoholism, drug addiction, being male, being bald, rich or poor all as excuses for bad behavior.  That misses the point.  I don’t want a pass for my bad behavior.  It is important for my recovery to be held accountable for it.

Well, this is an interesting discussion for me.  But, I think the argument boils down to two basic questions.  The first of which interests me, but only intellectually.  But, I only really care about the second question. 

Does Sex Addiction have any scientific usefulness?  In other words, does expanding the addiction taxonomy help us understand human behavior and pathology?  Science seeks to describe, understand and – ultimately – explain the world.  So, there are important scientific questions about whether the brain of sex addicts have a unusually high release of Dopamine (so called, “Dopamine Dump”) in their brains when engaged in these activities; whether sex addicts experience obssesive, intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that they find difficult to control; etc.  It is all very interesting, but no where near my primary concern.

Does the Sex Addiction concept have any therapeutic usefulness? Now, here’s the meat of the coconut for me.  Although the scientific understanding feeds treatment modalities, I care most about effective therapy.  This is what I know for sure – I have been engaged in behavior that I despareately want to stop.  I haven’t been able to stop.  Continuing to engage in that behavior is destroying my marriage, interfering with my work, and separating me from friends and family.  I CAN’T DO IT ON MY OWN!  At least, I haven’t so far.  So, call me weak willed or “Monk” or an addict.  I DON’T CARE.  You can call me whatever you want if you can help me.

I do want to understand as much as I can about why I have done what I have done, in service of making different choices – behaving differently.  If understanding addiction, as a general dynamic, and sexual addiction, more specifically, helps drive that understanding, then it is all good. Equally important is if understanding these behaviors as an addiction helps professionals and others (such as SAA or SLAA) help people like me, then let’s stop arguing about the wrong thing and go help save lives and relationships.

Links:

Wikipedia on Sex Addiction

Mayo Clinic info on Sex Addiction

Health.live.com search on Sex Addiction