Update

Well, I haven’t written in quite some time.  Thanks to all that have inquired about me.  I’m honored that you care.  So, I have written on themes each time in the past.  And, haven’t written much because I haven’t come up with the next theme.  I’ve stared in the face of divorce, dealt with the disruption of family and have really struggled with dealing with the fall out.  But, ultimately, this isn’t a story about whether I stay married or not.  It isn’t a story about the other.  It is a story about me, walking out of darkness.  Finding my path regardless of my marital status.  I can’t be in recovery for anyone but myself. 

So, instead of waiting for the inspiration on how to tell another aspect of my story in an interesting (at least, interesting to me!) way, I’ll just give a quick update. Things are actually going quite well for me.  I actually have to be on guard and remind myself “yep, I’m still an addict.”  I’m getting great help from folks.  It is true that so much of the success we find or don’t find is in the quality of the help we get and our willingness to accept that help.  This I am. 

All that is not to say, that life is much easier or I’m not stressed out half the time.  Some of that stress is due to my addiction, a lof of it is due to the vicisitudes of somewhat challenging life circumstances.  But, there are more days than not that I feel capable of coping.  I rarely think of escaping – putting a bullet in my head while ignoring the considerable challenges confronting me.  That theme has shifted to calming thoughts and tackling things head on.  I’m learning that to cope it’s a virtuous cycle of doing things to restore sanity and taking action, action, action on those most challenging challenges. 

I think, I act, I survive, I thrive.